he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
