my mouth tastes like poor choices
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
