Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
