peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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