so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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