your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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