Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
