Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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