butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
