i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
