he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
