guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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