I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
third nipple confirmed
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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