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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (707): View more from California

  then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.

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• (845): View more from New York

  This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  it's too much effort for something that isn't food.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (639): View more from

  you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.

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