And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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