we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
