On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize