Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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