when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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