WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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