After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I understand Curling. That high.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
