when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize