Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
