Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
