she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
