Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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