take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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