Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
