hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
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New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
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He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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