i just wanna soil my oats bro
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
