...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
My balls are so social today.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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