yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
