I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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