i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
