I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
