I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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