He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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