I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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