I want to make a zoo with you.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
