every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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