I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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