8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize