yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
