Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
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He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
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As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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