who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
DRUNK COOKIES
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