I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
