Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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