He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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