at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
