found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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