u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
