I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
