i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
