good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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