It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
