what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
