about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
