clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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