somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Randomize
